By Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (d. 751H)
In his tremendous work ‘Ad-Daa wad-Dawaa’ (The sickness and its cure)1, Ibnul-Qayyim brings the chapter: From the completeness of a man is love for his wives. He states: “As for love for one’s wives then there is no blame in loving them, rather it is from his completeness, and Allaah has blessed His worshippers with it (love), He said,
“And from His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find comfort in them, and placed between you love and mercy. Verily in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Sooratur-Room, 30:21]
So he made a woman a repose for a man, his heart finding comfort in her, and he placed between them pure love, and it is a love that is coupled with mercy. Allaah has said after mentioning what is permissible and impermissible for us from women,
“Allaah wishes to make clear (what is lawful and what is unlawful) to you, and to show you the ways of those before you, and accept your repentance, and Allaah is All-Knower, All Wise. Allaah wishes to accept your repentance, but those who follow their lusts, wish that (you) believers should deviate tremendously away from the Right Path. Allaah wishes to lighten your burden for you; and man was created weak (cannot be patient without women).” [Sooratun-Nisaa’, 4:26-28]
Sufyaan Ath-Thawree mentioned in his tafseer on the authority of Taawus from his father: “If he looks at a woman he cannot be patient.”
He says later: “And there is no doubt that women were beloved to the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), as is found in the Saheeh on the authority of Anas that he (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“That which has been made beloved to me from the worldly affairs are women, and beautiful fragrances, and prayer has been made a coolness for my eyes.” 2
And Khaleelullah, the Prophet Ibraaheem (‘alayhi salaam), was married to Saarah from the most beautiful of the women of the earth, and he loved Hajar, and was delighted by her.
And the Prophet Daawood (‘alayhi salaam) had ninety-nine wives, and loved one woman and married her, completing one-hundred, and his son Sulaymaan (‘alayhi salaam) used to go around in one night visiting ninety of his wives, and the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked who was the most beloved of the people to him and he answered: “Aa’ishah.”3 And he said about Khadeejah: “I was blessed with her love.”4
So love of women is from the completeness of a man, Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu anhu) said: “The best of this nation is the one with the most women.”5
He continues later: “The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) interceded for one who was in love, to reunite him with the woman he was in love with, to remarry him but she rejected. This is found in the story of Mugheeth and Barirah, when the Prophet saw him (Mugheeth) walking behind her, his tears pouring down wetting his beard, the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to her: “Would you not go back to him?” She asked: “O Messenger of Allaah! Are you commanding me to do so?” He answered: “No, I am only interceding [for him].” So she said: “I have no need for him.” So the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to his uncle: “O Abbaas! Are you not amazed at the love of Mugheeth for Barirah, and her dislike for him?”6
He says later: “So love for women is of three kinds: One that is obedience [to Allaah] and brings one closer [to Him], and it is the love of his wife and right hand possession, and this love brings about benefit, for indeed it calls to the reasons of which Allaah legislated marriage, a lowering of the gaze, and protecting the heart from seeking after other than his family, and therefore this one who is love is praiseworthy with Allaah, and with the creation.”
1. pp. 291-295
2. Collected by Ahmad in his Musnad (no. 11884, 12644, and 13623) and An-Nisaa’ee in his Sunan the chapter: ‘Love of women’ (no. 3390-3391), it has been authenticated by Al-Muhaddith Al-Albaanee is Saheeh Sunan An-Nisaaee [3/57], Al-Muhaddith Muhammad ibn Aadam mentions in the explanation of this hadeeth [27/175]: “…From its benefits: What the author chaptered this hadeeth under, and it is legislation of love of women, and that it does not contradict the station of Prophethood. From them: What the Prophet was upon from strong love of Allaah without being affected by his love for women, rather it increased him in nearness to Allaah.”
3. This is from the hadeeth of Abdullah ibn ‘Amr Ibnul-Aas who said: “I came to the Messenger of Allaah and asked him: Who is the most beloved of the people to you? He answered: “Aa’ishah.” I then asked: From the men? He answered “Her father.” I said: Then who? He answered: “Umar Ibnul-Khattaab.” And then mentioned others.” This hadeeth is agreed upon by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim.
4. This is from the hadeeth of Aa’ishah (radiyallaahu anha) who said: “I was never jealous of any of the wives of the Messenger of Allaah except Khadeejah and I never met her, if the Prophet slaughtered a animal he would say: “Send this to the companions of Khadeejah.” She said: “I became angry one day. So the Prophet said: “Indeed I was blessed with her love.” It is collected by Muslim in the book of the virtues of the companions, chapter: The Virtues Of Khadeejah.
5. From the narration of Sa’eed ibn Jubayr who said: “Ibn Abbaas asked me: “Have you married yet?” I answered no, so he said: “Marry! For the best of this ummah are those with the most women.” Collected by Al-Bukhaaree in the book of Marriage, chapter: Plurality of Women [no. 5069]. Al-Haafidh said in Al-Fath [10/143]: “He restricted it to this ummah to exclude the likes of Sulaymaan (‘alayhi salaam), as indeed he had the most women as has preceded, and also his father Daawood, and there came At-Tabaraanee the narration of Ayyoob on the authority of Sa’eed ibn Jubayr from Ibn Abbaas: “Marry! For indeed the best of us was the one with the most women.” And it is said that the meaning the best of the ummah of Muhammad is the one who has more women than others from those who are equal to him in other than that from virtues. And what is apparent is that what was intended by the best is ‘the Prophet’, (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and by ummah, ‘his companions.’” He says later: “And it has come in Ash-Shafaa that the Arabs used to praise plurality of marriage from what it points to of manhood.”
6. Collected by Al-Imaam Al-Bukhaaree in the Book of Divorce (no. 5280, 5281, 5282, and 5283), Aboo Daawood in the book of divorce (no. 2231, and 2232), At-Tirmidhee (no. 1156), An-Nisaaee in As-Sughraa [28/5419], and in Al-Kubraa [32/5978] Ibn Maajah [no. 2075], Al-Imaam Ahmad in Al-Musnad (no. 1847, 2538, and 3395), and Maalik in Al-Muwatta (no. 3190)
Source: troid .org